Surrender | A Poem to the Universe

PRAYER

Samantha Nagel

Empowered

Today,

I prayed with the water around my knees,

My joy sweat dripping down my face.

I asked

God

The Universe

The Creator

A Higher Power,

The Divine Mother,

Earth,

What to do.

Today,

I asked

It

Him

She

They

How to love without breaking.

I got no answer.

There is no answer,

Not to that question.

To love

Is to

Break.

More likely,

To love

Is to be

Risky.

Love hurts

And also

Love saves.

Love is pain

And also

Love is medicine.

I asked again,

How do I love without

Becoming one with

The one I love?

I saw the flame of my candles dance.

I heard a voice,

A voice like mine

And also

A voice like

God

The Universe

The Creator

A Higher Power,

The Divine Mother,

Earth.

The voice that was like mine

But also wasn’t

Told me that I would never be alone,

That I could never be abandoned.

Because, I asked, I have you?

No,

It

Him

She

They

Said.

Because you have you.

It was true.

Who else carried my weary body

When it felt like I could continue no longer?

Me.

Who else wiped my tears

Night after night of crying?

Me.

“It’s always been you.”

I heard.

But then,

What about you,

Whatever the fuck you’re called?

I’m sorry,

I whispered.

But then again,

I know that if you’re up there,

No,

If you’re here,

If you love me this much,

You don’t care if I use an

English curse word.

I am greeted

With a feeling of love.

You will take care of yourself,

She told me.

And I will be there to

Comfort

And to

Guide you,

He said.

Don’t worry about

The others,

The others that you love so much,

That you want to

Take care of,

It assured me.

All you have to do

Is to greet them with love

And then your worries over to me,

They instructed.

And this

This is how I learned the difference

Between

Love

And

Codependency